The Problem With Arguments
by Thanatos-Aire
Summary: GoFigureArc piece. A bored Duo tries to make small talk but when his companion refuses to reply, the situation gets a little nutty. Cuss, silly, brief suggest lang, pilot friendship.  Poss. Spoil: Re: twist- no flames allowed for not reading warnings!


title: The Problem With Arguments  
part: 1/1, complete  
date: Aug 09

author: Thanatos-Aire  
contact: death(dot)in(dot)a(dot)box 13 (at) gmail .com  
archived?: LJ (theladynanashi, deathinabox13), FFN (thanatos-aire), GWU (theladynanashi)

genre: fanfiction Shin Kidou Senki Gundamu Wing  
rating: PG13  
warnings: cussing, silliness (Duo being Duo), Duo POV, brief lime-suggestion

cast: pilot friendship  
notes: I'm not sure exactly where this came from- Aw hell, yes I do, but trust me when I say you probably don't want to know. Anyway, the mental image left me cracking up and I just had to write it.

trailer: Part of the Go Figure Arc. A bored Duo tries to make small talk but when his companion refuses to reply, the situation gets a little nutty. As per usual with most of my shorts, it's not what you're probably thinking XP (so read the header carefully!)  
disclaimer: I do not own, claim to own, nor make profit off the use of any and all canon or otherwise copyrighted elements borrowed without permission contained herein.

* * *

"C'mon, man!" I whine, leaning over to prop my elbows on the porch railing, chin in hands. "I'm stuck all alone in the house with this stupid gimp leg, and you won't even entertain me? It's been weeks! I'm bored!"

You just look at me blankly. Then you blink slowly and turn back to your work.

I sigh. "Fine, be that way. See if I care." I huff dramatically, slouching in the lawn chair and pointedly looking away, studying the late afternoon sky. The clouds are too thin to pick out big fluffy shapes in like me and Quat' enjoy when the blond has the time. It smells like it's going to rain though, and that might have some promise.

Not like this dead-end conversation.

I sigh again, stressing it loudly. At the lack of response, I do it again with more emphasis and direct it towards you. You still don't even bat a pretty little eyelash.

"Is it really that damn fascinating?" I ask, just to prod you into a reaction. "I mean, c'mon, it can't be all that interesting."

You make a small noise and take a peanut from the plate. I watch as you carefully, methodically, crack it open and hunt out the meats inside the shell. You lick your fingers in that incredibly-unfairly adorable manner, and then go back to your intense study.

I laugh.

It startles you slightly, your head coming up to glare at me but then you ignore me again.

"Y'know," I try casually, leaning to the other side to watch you, "You're kinda cute. I mean like, really cute in a snuggley-kitty kinda way." No reply. "Look'tcha! Nice soft and thick reddish-brown hair. Uber-alert eyes that are disarmingly endearing and yet can totally glare my arse to hell n' back no prob'. Perfect little fingers and toes and smooth, powerful legs" I pause with a sly grin and then leer, "Not to mention what'cha got in the back there. I mean, hellooo nurse!"

You take another peanut and roll it for a moment.

"No, really, it's not empty flattery. I'd love to have what'cha got."

I watch as you snap the shell open and skilfully pull out the two peanut pieces. They disappear into your mouth seemingly with relish, but I can't bet on it cause your face shows no emotion that I can tell.

"Ain't'cha gonna tell me anything back?" I huff, pretending to be affronted.

You clean off your fingers with that cute little tongue and continue to ignore me.

I lean back in the chair and stare at the porch ceiling. "Fine, I'll just compliment myself for you. Oh Duo," I drawl in a falsetto, touching my chest with dainty fingertips and batting my lashes at you. You don't even notice, you little bugger. "You're so exquisitely handsome! And that hair, oh my word! You're like all my dreams rolled into one, with that devilish grin and gemstone eyes; how do you keep off the masses of fawning young adorers? Oh you poor thing, you're hurt! Did you break that ankle saving beautiful damsels in a show of heroic gallantry?"

You tilt your head ever so slightly, but it's probably from the slight squeak from the kitchen window behind me. The house's kinda old and settling' - whatever that means.

I sigh, shifting to sit cross-legged in the hard plastic chair as best as I can with this damn busted ankle. You freeze to watch my movements with eyes like a bird of prey looking for a meal. I grin.

"Like what'cha see?" I waggle a brow and teasingly touch the top button of my shirt. You blink and turn back to the plate of peanuts to choose one. I huff and let it go. "Nothing gets a rise out of you, does it?"

Again, I am ignored for a nut.

"Bugger," I mutter. "C'mon, man, throw me a bone here! I'm dying of boredom and you won't even grace me with anything more than a cursory look-over? Fine. Maybe I'll leave you all by yourself, all alone to your own little lonesome self, and head up to bed. It's dark out, kinda, I guess. I think I see the bears up there-"

I careen my neck to peer around the roof of the porch and manage to spot the dim light of the stars through the purpled sky.

"Yeah. Maybe I'll just go on in, pretend to take my pain meds before anyone forces it down my throat, and lie in bed until I die of boredom. It's happened before, you know - people dying of boredom. Though usually, it's indirectly, cause they get killed doing the stupid shit they tried because they were bored. But not me, oh no sirree, I'm just gonna lie in bed and waste away into nothing but a big hunk of pure unadulterated boredness."

No answer.

I growl, leaning forward to glare without getting too close. "Am I really less significant than a damned nut? I'm ripping my poor braid out here, man, and you're just ambling along through that damn plate - that I brought for you, no less! - and ignoring me. You could at least chitter at me for being loud or something!"

I get a quick glance.

"Anything?" Nothing. I toss an empty shell piece at you, frustrated. "Dammit! Well, fuck you too then. Damned bloody beast."

The screen door opens with a loud squeal of rusty hinges and you halt to look up with wide eyes before scampering off the porch rail and into the yard. I huff, turning around.

"Heero, Tro! Back from work?"

There's a slight pause before I get any reply. "Duo, were you just arguing with a squirrel?"

* * *

fini-

Notes: For those confused with the slang mention of the bears', it was a reference to Ursa Minor and Ursa Major, the asterism bears more commonly known in the West as the Little Dipper and the Big Dipper, respectively.

Also, for everyone's future reference - I have decided to firmly keep the Go Figure Arc purely platonic between the pilots. Though I'm sure a few more jokes will crop up, it will be only friendship. :)


End file.
